Chocolate Helps on Tests, and Other Things
by vindictive locomotive
Summary: Max and the flock have saved the world and are attending school in Arizona Max makes a permanent best frend and maybe even wins a contest FAX! EGGY? OC/OC set after book 4 no flyboy action. R&R please! i suc at summaries is better than it sounds i promise
1. Being Sick Sucks When You're a Hybrid

**so this is my first fanfic and flames are welcome, though im hoping i dont get too many. i no it seems kinda short but i have a LOT more if people like it, if its successful than the chapters will get significantly longer unless i get writers bloc which i probably wont since i have almost the entire story planned out in my head**

**Disclaimer: i do not own Maximum Ride, alas James Patterson does and i dont wanna get sued, so here. you. go. James. *struggles to hand over rights* **

**James: come on tears, you can do it**

**Me: no i cant!**

**Fang: ill give you a cookie**

**Me: . ok fine here you go James *hands over rights* yay cookie! ok R&R peeps**

**Claimer: i do own this plot, it isnt much of a plot yet but there will be and there will also be some characters of my own creation and i would appreciate it if no one stole it or took it with out asking me first, and if this has been done b4 or it sounds too much like someone elses tell me and ill try to change it because im not a plaugurizer (i dont no how to spell that lol)**

It was a beautiful August day in Arizona, and I am living it up, taking full advantage of my carefree, leaderless day, inside watching TV, note the sarcasm. Why? Because I had just gotten back from saving the world from a bunch of crazy mad scientists eager for world domination; but that wasn't the reason I was inside though. The reason I was _inside_ watching TV, instead of _outside_ testing how fast I could fly, was because during that whole "saving the world" escapade, which happened to be in fricking Antarctica and I'm not going into all the details, I happened to pick up a virus, which gave me the flu. So as I lie here I am extremely bored, while the Flock and Ella are outside doing x-number of things less boring than staying inside watching Oprah.

Eventually, I can't take it; I chuck the remote at the TV and yell as loud as I can with a sore throat,

"I don't care if you found a cure for pancreatic cancer! If you're so smart why don't you find a cure for the common cold!" **(A/N. ok i dont watch Oprah, so i dont no what she talks about, if thats completely wrong, tell me and ill fix it)** of course I instantly regret doing this because two things, one: I can't get up and get the remote so I can change the channel; and two: my throat now hurts even more than it did before.

"I thought you had the flu." I don't even need to turn around to know that its Fang, who else, really?

"Shut up, Fang, sick person really doesn't care right now."

"I see, well I thought sick person was bored out of her mind so I came inside to at least cure her of her boredom, but I can see that she's having much more fun watching Oprah."

"Wow, you know, I think that's the longest sentence I've ever heard you say."

"I try."

"Well, in case you're blind like Iggy, I will inform you that, no, I am not having any fun at all watching Oprah."

"So does this mean you're willing to accept my treatment?"

"You have a cure for the flu?" I questioned hopefully.

"No, but I have a semi-affective treatment for you're incessant boredom."

"Semi-affective or ineffective, I'll take it."

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So we spent the rest of the afternoon playing board games, 20 questions, Guess Who, and an all-family game of team Monopoly; of which Fang, Total, and I totally dominated, with hotels on every monopoly and almost all the money in the bank.

After the game of Monopoly, the younger kids and Iggy went up to bed. My mom ordered me to be quarantined in the living room and Fang wasn't tired yet and was still not done with his semi-affective treatment for my boredom. We stayed in the living room doing a puzzle of some historic place in some European country.

Fang turned the radio on and while we were doing the puzzle we also tried to get accustomed to pop culture, yes I know, we might as well have been living under a rock while we were saving the world.

**Love it? hate it? flames welcome, will be more i jus wanna see if people like it enough that i can post the other stuff i have, yes i kept some from you, but i didnt wann post it all up there only to have it torched out by flames, speaking of flames i bet this is gonna burn in hell lol, trust me it gets waaaay better.**

**you no u wanna review, the button is ur best frend**


	2. School? Shopping? Why, God? Why Me?

**this is the second chapter! you guys are lucky i posted it so soon, even though i only got one review, i decided i dont care if all of hates it, im goin to keep posting it because i like it! **

**Fang: what if i dont like it?**

**Me: well that dosnt matter ur a fictional character, i can make you do my bidding just by writing it down on a piece of paper so watch it buddy**

**Fang: *eyes widen* just get to the important stuff**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN MAX RIDE JP DOES**

**Claimer: i do own this plot and all my new characters so DONT NOBODY GO STEALING THEM or i will unleash y wrath upon you! RAWR!**

While Fang and I do the puzzle, I can't stop my coughing. I swear I can't even speak a full sentence without breaking into fits of coughs.

"Damn, my throat hurts" I manage to choke out.

"Maybe you should go to bed" Fang says, a worried look painted across his face. Whoa, since when does Fang show he's worried? Weird. I shoot him my best, there-is-no-way-in-hell-you-are-sending-me-to-bed look; but I imagine I don't look as intimidating as I want to with my sick look. You know that exhausted look you get when you're sick, the one that makes you permanently look like you've just given birth or something? And no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to ever get rid of it until you pratically down a whole bottle of nyquil or something. Whatever, i don't know what you humans take, I'm a hybrid, I've never been sick before.

"Well, fine, I won't send you to bed," I visibly lighten up, "Yet" Darn.

"Mom says I'll be fine tomorrow though" I plead helplessly, whoa, Max Ride, pleading? Does not compute, does not compute, I mentally snicker at my little joke.

"That's if you get you're rest, Max"

"Aw fine, you win this time"

"Yeah, well, don't let it go to you're head"

"Too late, it already did!" I grin.

"Hey um, I need to talk to you about something"

"Sure"

"Well, you're mom said it might be a good idea to go back to school, and since we're officially free, and we do kinda wanna have normal lives, I maybe said it was a good idea" he said sheepishly.

I sigh, well, he did have a point, we all wanted normal lives, well as normal lives as mutant-bird-kids could lead, and to do that, we needed to get real jobs, which required us going to normal school. I sigh again.

"I'm so gonna regret saying this later but, ok we'll tell the kids tomorrow."

"Actually, you don't need to do that, Max" came a sheepish voice from behind the couch. I mentally groan. Using all of my strength, I pull myself up to peek over the edge. On the other side is just who I am expecting, Iggy, Nugde, Angel, Gazzy, Ella and even Total. Oh well, at least I don't have to tell them tomorrow.

"Ok, so I guess this means I don't have to tell you" I brace myself for an instant Nudge explosion

"Oh Ehm Gee! Max! Can we please go shopping for clothes tomorrow? Like, please please please? Can we? Can we? Can we? Oh my god I need new jeans, and you need clothes that are like, way prettier than that, oh my god, yesterday I saw this really, really, really, pretty blue top with sparkles all over it and I was like, 'Oh my God! That would look so cute on me!' Do you think it's still there, Max? Why do they call it blue? Why don't they call it, like, green or something? Why don't they call green, blue and blue, green? Who invented the names anyway? Max, how do you get colorblind? Why-

I cut the Nudge channel off before she makes my ears bleed.

"Nudge, too much talking. Not all of us have supersonic speech abilities."

"Sorry Max" Nudge mumbles against my hand.

"And I think this is probably the fever talking but, sure we'll all go shopping tomorrow." Everyone cheers except for Fang and I. After that, the kids went up to bed, for real this time since Fang went up to check.

Afterwards, he came back down to say goodnight to me. Whoa, double take here, since when does Fang make the effort to come all the way back downstairs just so he can say goodnight to me? I really don't get that but oh well.

"'Night, Max" he says, sticking to his usual 'I'm-going-to-say-as-little-as-possible-so-it's-less-awkward-for-me' façade. What a jerk he can be. Oh well he's still my best friend.

"You should get you're rest, tomorrow will be…interesting" he says, is that a smirk I see? What a freaking jerk! I take back the friends comment! Ugh. He makes me so mad sometimes!

"Ha ha, very funny, at least mom didn't say you had to let Ella and Nudge pick out _you're_ clothes." he smirks.

"Just what the doctor ordered"

"Jerk"

"I try" he says. Ugh he's so annoying for someone who never talks.

**Hmmm i wonder whats going to happen on ther shopping trip?**

**I guess you'll just have to wait till nxt time**

**thats also when im going to introduce a new character, Maxs new permanent best frend! (i no thats supposed to be Fang but this is her first permanent gal pal)  
****anyways, R&R! cus Fang wants you to!**

**Fang: Please R&R! i wont get any cookies if you dont! an i rlly wanna share them with Max!**

**Me: ummm well that last part wasn't really part of the script but ill let reviewers feed Fang cookies! ^^ you know you wanna feed Fang cookies!**

**Fang: what! you said u were gona give me cookies!**

**Me: i lied, srry Fang!**

**PWEASE R&R! ~Elise**


	3. Wow, Perceptive, No?

**hey guys! i FINALLY updated, hehe srry 4 the delay, u no, school and stuuf, wat can u do? so anyway........here is the third chapter! I no u guys r like, whoa, it's so long! and that is to make up 4 the two pathetic little chapters in the beginning, again i apologize. **

**so this is where max goes shopping and meets her first REAL bff, who is modeled after me! YAY! i coudn't help myself i've ALWAYS wanted to be in a max ride fanfic! and i will put up a poll, because i want to know, should i have a RHW (red-haired-wonder)? or would that make it too long? R&R!**

**DISCLAIMER: I--SADLY--DO NOT OWN MAX RIDE!**

**CLAIMER: I DO OWN THE PLOT AND THE NEW CHARACTERS! DO NOT STEAL! IF U WOULD LIKE TO DO A CONTINUATION, OR HAVE A PLOT SIMALAR, OR BORROW SOMETHING, ASK ME FIRST! PLEASE! I WONT GET MAD AT U 4 POLITELY ASKING I WILL GET MAD 4 STEALING!**

**well, i think ive kept u long enough, no? well then, lets get on with the story!**

* * *

I wake up the next morning feeling better than I have in the past few days. Wait, double take, if I'm feeling better then that means…oh (insert swear word of your choice here)! Mom told me that as soon as I was better we would all go shopping for school clothes. Well that's it folks, I'm officially screwed. I just know that Ella and Nudge are gonna do anything and EVERYTHING in their power to get me into something painfully girly and/or pink. Ugh, does my life get any worse?

A few minutes after I wake up and walk into the kitchen, mom comes downstairs to make breakfast.

"Oh good, you're up early, you must be feeling better."

"Sadly" I say with notable sarcasm encircling every word. She gives me a sympathetic smile as she places the massive bag of pancake mix on the kitchen counter.

"I know how you feel honey, but don't worry; I made Ella promise not to pick anything you feel too uncomfortable in." I scoffed.

"I don't think that'll stop her and Nudge, mom, Ella has ways"

"Would it help if I were there to reinforce her?" she asks with a knowing smile. I perk up visibly.

"Really? You're not going to be too busy?" it's her turn to scoff.

"Please! I already have enough clothes, the house has enough food to feed the entire U.S. Coastguard, and I want to spend time with my girls. Plus I need to make sure Ella doesn't buy anything that she claims to be 'fashionable'" she says, making air quotes. I give a sigh of relief, thank god my mom is so awesome.

"Oh thank you so much! You saved me from dying a horrible death in a department store dressing room." She laughs and almost drops the vegetable oil, catching it at the last moment.

"Oh Max, what would you do without me?" she giggles a little and pulls out a wooden spoon.

"Um, eventually suffocate under all the clothes Ella throws into my dressing room?" I joke. Mom laughs and plays along.

"I can see the headlines now: Mutant Bird Girl Literally Shops 'Till She Drops." We both double over in laughter. Regaining my composure, I fake a sniffle and draw my index finger from my tear duct down my cheek, like falling "tears".

"How tragic!" I say in mock despair, even throwing the back of my arm over my forehead to add to my dramatization. Of course, this makes us crack up even more. After a few minutes we calm down and finish making the pancakes. Don't worry, my mom was coaching me, and I didn't mess up. Actually I've been taking lessons and can now proudly say that I can successfully make most common breakfast foods. A few minutes later, Iggy walks in.

"I smell pancakes, and they're not burning! Max! You're learning!" he says, sounding slightly sarcastic, but in a sincere way, if that's possible.

"Thanks Ig, I never thought I would get words of praise from the master chef himself! I'm honored!" Iggy laughs and puts his hand over his heart and dabs at his eyes, feigning tears of joy.

"They grow up so fast! It seems like only yesterday you were—wait, weren't you sick yesterday?! ACK! Get away from the food! You're spreading your disease!" Iggy freaks out. Luckily, mom steps in and grabs Iggy by the collar before he can do any damage.

"Calm down bird-boy, I gave her a clean bill of health this morning. She's clear and has been released from quarantine."

"How can you be sure? There could still be germs! ACK! I'm probably infected already!" just then, Fang picks the perfect time to walk tiredly into the kitchen. He smirks, having seen—and heard—Iggy's little display.

"Iggy, I didn't know you were germophobic." Iggy scoffs,

"Fang, I didn't know you talked."

"Funny, neither did I,"

"Emo"

"Germophobe"

"Goth!"

"Blind!"

"Okay, okay guys! Break it up! Who wants pancakes?" I say, before it gets violent. Fang cocks an eyebrow.

"Are they safe?" he asks. I sigh,

"Perfectly, I even got Master Chef Ignus' **(A/N lol i used igs real name!)** approval before his, erm, breakdown." Fang shrugs and helps himself to at least 20 pancakes, drowning them in syrup.

"Fang!" Nudge cries, "You're going to drown the poor things!" voicing my thoughts. Fang looks from the pancakes to Nudge, shrugs, and starts stuffing his food into his mouth.

"Geez, hungry much?" I ask sarcastically, seriously, it's like he hasn't eaten in days, when truth be told, it's actually me who hasn't. I'm serious; I had to live on a diet of saltines and Ginger Ale **(A/N i do not own ginger ale or saltines)** for 2 whole weeks and I haven't even touched a pancake yet! God, boys are such pigs.

_Ewww! You're absolutely right, Max! Fang is so gross! _Angel thinks to me as she walks in the kitchen.

_I know, right?_ I think back.

"Morning Max, glad to see you're feeling better!" Angel says happily.

"Thanks Angel, you're the first one who's said that besides mom." I hint. The rest of the flock catches on. Muttering 'sorry' and 'I meant to ask'.

"Aw, darn! Max is better!" guess who? Yup, the one and only Gazzy. I raise my eyebrow.

"Uh, um, I mean…Yay! Max is better!" he covers badly.

"That's what I thought." I say triumphantly.

"Max is better?! Oh Ma-ax!" a sing-song voice calls as Ella come charging into the kitchen. Oh great, help, please?

"Guess what that means?" I decide to play dumb,

"Um, flowers and chocolate?"

"Nope guess again."

"Uh, fresh air?

"One more" I sigh in defeat.

"shoppingtrip" I mumble faintly.

"What was that?" I sigh again.

"Shopping trip?" I say louder and more clear. She pats my head.

"Good job, now go get dressed"

"Do I have to?"

"Stop whining now go, up, up, up!" I shoot a pleading look at Fang, he shrugs; jerk. So I put on my best martyred expression and trudge up the stairs.

* * *

A couple hours later I'm being dragged to my personal hell. You guessed it, the mall. Spare me, just this one time.

Ella shoves me into a dressing room and initiates Nudge as a guard/bouncer. Yep, it's come to the point where my dressing room now has to be guarded. Trust me, none of you hate shopping this much.

Ella comes back momentarily and hands me a bid stack of clothes. I sigh and start trying them on. All the outfits show my figure, but they aren't bad, at least there's no pink. Sadly, because we recently discovered we can hide our wings, Ella has given me some tank tops as well.

After I try on the first outfit Ella calls to me.

"Come on, Max! Let's see it!"

"Come on out, Elise! Let me see it!" an unknown voice calls from outside.

"No way in hell am I wearing this!" yet another unknown voice calls from the dressing room next to me.

"Ella! I'm not wearing this!" I say.

"Get out here Max!"

"Get out here Elise!"

"Ugh fine!" the mystery girl and I both huff in unison. I stomp out of the dressing room just in time to see a girl about my age, wearing the same stubborn expression as me, reluctantly step out from behind the curtain.

"You guys look amazing!" Nudge squeals. The girl raises her eyebrows.

"Uh, do I know you?" she asks.

"I'm Nudge!" she says, and I face-palm, she forgot to make up a name. Great.

"Hmm, Nudge, I like it, rhymes with fudge." She says, as if she didn't think Nudge was a weird name.

"Thanks! That's what I was going for!" she says happily. The girl turns to me, and we look each other up and down, but not in a threatened way, just observing. She's tall, taller than most normal humans, about 5' 9". She has silky brown hair with blonde highlights that goes to about her shoulders. She's skinny, but not anorexic; she has soft brown eyes, the kind that look like they could see into your soul; something tells me that I can definitely trust her, tell her everything, and she wouldn't tell a soul. It's her that finally breaks the silence.

"So you're Max, I'm guessing. Hi, I'm Elise."

"Hi, nice to meet you Elise." I say.

"This is my sister, Katie" she points to the girl who was apparently in the same situation as Ella.

"Hey Ella!" Katie says and runs over to Ella and hugs her. To my surprise, Ella hugs her back.

"I haven't seen you all summer!" they both squeal.

"Umm, guess they already know each other" I say. Elise chuckles.

"Yeah I guess so, so if Ella is your sister then that would mean she practically held you up at gunpoint and dragged you here against your will." Wow, she's perceptive.

"How'd you know?" she laughs,

"Same situation. I. Hate. Shopping."

"Thank God! Someone who shares my pain!" we laugh together and slap high-fives.

"So, the little blonde one is Angel?" she asks, whoa, how did she know that? Has she been spying on us?

"How did you know?"

"I heard you call her that earlier, you were warning her not to control your mind. She controls minds? That is so cool."

"You're not gonna ask me a million uncomfortable questions?"

"Why should I? You guys obviously like to keep a low profile." Wow VERY perceptive. I feel like I can befriend her in every way, like I won't have to hide anything from her. I want to befriend her that way, to not have to hide the fact that i'm a mutant bird kid who has saved the world on more than one occasion. I want a real friend for once.

"Thank God! You understand!" she laughs.

"You say that like you've lived in a dog crate for most of your adolescent life." I cannot control what comes out of my mouth next.

"Actually, I kinda have." strangely, she doesn't look surprised. She just nods sympathetically.

"That really sucks. Were your parents abusive or were you, like, one of those extremely inhumane lab experiments?"

"Second one."

"It's a miracle you survived."

"It's a miracle I escaped."

"Forgive my asking but, are you possibly one of those bird kids I heard about on the news?"

"Wow, it's like you already know."

"Haha, no, more like I'm just extremely non-judgmental and I'm good at perceiving situations."

"There's a welcome relief, I wont have to hide half my life from you."

She laughs again and sticks out her hand, "Friends?" I grin.

"Friends"

"Cool, let's ditch this nightmare and go to Hot Topic." **(A/N i do not own Hot Topic)**

"Hot Topic? It's not a hooker store is it?"

"Psh, hell no! It's sort of a goth store, but I don't usually buy the clothes, I buy the band t-shirts and the music." We started walking toward a dark-looking store with an arch of bricks as the doorway.

"Oh, I think I see my 'brother' in there."

"You mean the really cute, tall, emo-looking guy?" I feel instantly threatened, is she going to be the next RHW? Ugh I cant take another one!

"Um, yeah that's Fang."

"Fang, that's a cool name, suits him perfectly don't you think?"

"Yeah, please tell me you aren't falling head over heels for him like all the other girls."

"Don't worry, he's cute, but I didn't feel like he was 'the one' you know? I'm sort of a hopeless romantic, 14 years old and searching for my soul mate, sad huh?"

"Not really, you don't want to see yourself get hurt by a bunch of complete bastards."

"Exactly! So don't worry, I won't steal Fang."

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious you like him, the way you're looking at him right now, and how you were asking if I liked him in a way that was more like telling me not to." Again, perceptive, no? That's what I love about her. I suddenly feel like I can't deny it anymore, I'm in love with Fang. God how could I be so freaking blind!

"I guess you're right, I've been denying that for a year now, but I guess it's unavoidable."

"Definitely, never try to deny love, because you never know when it might be too late."

"I already learned that lesson, he's in love with this red-headed Barbie back in Virginia."

"I'm sorry, tell you what, I'll give you a few months, and then I'll play matchmaker."

"Huh?"

"I'm gonna get you guys together one way or another"

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Of course! That's what friends are for right?" she picked up a Paramore t-shirt and said,

"I think this would look great on you, just your style"

"You are so perceptive, it's like you've known me forever." She shrugs.

"People say I'm good at sensing emotions, feelings, the good in people, who's trustworthy, who's innocent, stuff like that. That's why I'm so non-judgmental and sensitive of other people's feelings.

"Wow, I wish I were like that, but I'm only like that with Fang."

"Best buds since the dog crate huh?"

"Yup"

"Maybe that's why you guys seem so perfect together."

"You think?"

"I know." She said winking. I smiled, hoping she was right.

* * *

****

so wat dy'a think? i need ur opinion, is max too OOC in the part where she meets Elise? i can't tell, i feel like theres too much dialougue and not enough description in that part, but you tell me, hope u liked! R&R please! or i will curse you all by updating a really short, completely grammticlly incorrect with tons of speeling errors, absolutely pointless, fluffless chapter! mwahahaha!

**~Elise**


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